Okay, Hell Week has begun! Starting on Saturday we will rehearse/perform 7 days straight...Yesterday was the first time with the band and they sound AMAZING! The addition of the drums and guitars really add to the energy of the show. It is going to sound superb!
Watching the videos of some of the fellow actors that have been posted on the New Line webpage, it got me a thinkin'.
"Why should people see this show?"
Well, SUPPORT! And this show is something real. Everyone can relate to a character. Whether it be someone who is or was not popular, someone who is in the closet, someone who is out of the closet, someone who supports, someone who is scared, someone who is religious, and someone who is not. It's all in there. We all have had issues through the process of growing up, and I believe those issues stay with you and form you into the kind of person you become.
After attending Catholic school for nine years, I decided to go to a public high school, It astounded me to realize not all people were Catholic, I almost stuck my nose up to them, because in Catholic School, YOU ARE CATHOLIC and your beliefs are the true ones. I switched to a much more "God-like" Catholic school in 7th grade, where our principal made us learn how to serve at church, made us pray before every event, and even told certain kids their socks were too low????Right? We had to know a collection of prayers or we could not graduate, and our priest wouldn't allow any sort of instruments in the church besides a piano and guitar because everything else was being "rude" to God.
That same priest taught our religion class and told us that our pets will not go to Heaven with us.
"Why not?" we asked.
"You don't need your dog when you're in Heaven."
That was the moment I began to question my faith. How does he know? I want to believe my dog will be waiting for me when I die. I don't want to go to the Heaven you speak of...
That was the start. In high school, I became friends with artists and actors all of whom had this crazy outlook on life, that you, yourself, need to be happy and why should you care what others do. I took that to heart. Why should I put myself last, just because the Catholic church says I should? Who am I to judge others and their belief systems? Why do I need to put myself in a building every Sunday to prove I'm a good person? Be a good person. That's my motto! Why should I hate people who just want to love freely? Why should I judge people if they want to wear mismatched clothes, or color their hair blue?
Also, with a public education, I learned about the bloodshed and the hypocrisy of the church, and it wasn't until my sophomore year of college, when we learned about the Crusades, Bloody Mary, and all the lives lost because of religious domination, when I fully realized the absurdity of religion. It leads to war. Big and small. Wars with the state, wars with family, wars with young people, wars with gay people, wars with the world as a whole.
"God" is not a man waiting in the sky to me. I find him, as well as the Bible, to be creative story-telling. "God" is different to every human being. He may be a bearded, robed, white man to some, but to others "God" is a symbol. Some see "God" in their children, in mountains, in rivers, in gardening, whatever. Wherever you find peace and beauty within, and find a way to share that with others, THAT is "God."
I find my own truth and make my own life based on the universal religious theme; The Golden Rule. It's that simple. I see divinity in nature, in animals, in music, in art. That is where my "God" is. That's where my beauty is, that is where I see the perfection of life. It's not in hate. We all need to see that.
In bare,Sister Chantelle sings "People are so caught up with hate, that they forget The Golden Rule,"
YUP! Sing it sister!!
Seeing this show, maybe some can learn to open themselves up; To absorb love and see "God."
Monday, May 30, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Forward is Calling
Well, two nights ago I watched 77 7th and 8th graders perform some of my choreography. I have never choreographed before and it was such a fantastic feeling to watch them. I had been working with them for almost two months and they were not getting it, so we had to make some cuts and put the best dancers in front, and that seemed to help immeasurably. By performance night, I was happy. Yes, there were plenty of mistakes, but the joy on their faces was priceless.
I sat in the audience a little further back and saw all the parents grinning and laughing. The kids did not expect such a strong reaction and where there once was boredom, was now excitement. They wanted to entertain this crowd. I was shocked by how much they smiled! They put in so much that night, where in class, they were a tad nonchalant.
bare will also feed off the energy of an audience. We already are so close and we just ended our first week in the theatre. There are already tears and pain, with no lights, no band, and no audience. When we can finally share this with the public, we will be triumphant.
Rehearsals have gone well past ten o'clock this week, I am always so exhausted by that point in the day.......but we are starting to clarify emotions and moments so they are deeper, clearer, and truthful. This is the point where it really starts to feel like it fits. I have faith in this show and I hope the audience sees our passion behind it.
On another note, last Saturday I was at a BBQ at my brother's house. My mother was telling me a story about a member of our extended family who has a giant struggle with accepting homosexuality in the face of Catholicism. My mom has also had a struggle with this viewpoint. I would say, starting in my later years in high school, I was a complete advocate for gay rights. My brothers and parents still didn't quite understand it. "It's not natural." And so on. My mother said, "Michelle, you will be proud of me," she goes on to say she told that other member of our family, that "it is not a choice to become gay." She says "there are two kinds of people in this world: those who learn, and those who teach, and it is your job to learn from your sons."
I consider that progress.
I sat in the audience a little further back and saw all the parents grinning and laughing. The kids did not expect such a strong reaction and where there once was boredom, was now excitement. They wanted to entertain this crowd. I was shocked by how much they smiled! They put in so much that night, where in class, they were a tad nonchalant.
bare will also feed off the energy of an audience. We already are so close and we just ended our first week in the theatre. There are already tears and pain, with no lights, no band, and no audience. When we can finally share this with the public, we will be triumphant.
Rehearsals have gone well past ten o'clock this week, I am always so exhausted by that point in the day.......but we are starting to clarify emotions and moments so they are deeper, clearer, and truthful. This is the point where it really starts to feel like it fits. I have faith in this show and I hope the audience sees our passion behind it.
On another note, last Saturday I was at a BBQ at my brother's house. My mother was telling me a story about a member of our extended family who has a giant struggle with accepting homosexuality in the face of Catholicism. My mom has also had a struggle with this viewpoint. I would say, starting in my later years in high school, I was a complete advocate for gay rights. My brothers and parents still didn't quite understand it. "It's not natural." And so on. My mother said, "Michelle, you will be proud of me," she goes on to say she told that other member of our family, that "it is not a choice to become gay." She says "there are two kinds of people in this world: those who learn, and those who teach, and it is your job to learn from your sons."
I consider that progress.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Labor of Love
This weekend I performed in my first dance recital ever! Yes, it is a little weird being 26 and saying that. But it got me thinking of why I dance, or even perform anything at all. I was standing backstage watching all these young boys and girls rehearsing their steps and jumping out their jitters, and it made me think of all the time they have. I am 26, I am never going to be a great dancer, my time is up. I don't want to live the life of an actor, auditioning everyday just to be told "thanks for coming." I don't want to be a singer because I have zero confidence in my voice...so why do I do this?
It boils down to the way it makes me feel. That rush of happiness and excitement when I am onstage is outstanding. The energy from a audience that 'gets it." The way my emotions can attach themselves to a story over and over again. Even listening to soundtracks in my car an getting chills. There's nothing else like it.
My boss at Starbucks always asks me how much I get paid for these shows I do, and his business mind cannot comprehend the amount of pay in relation to the time committed. But it is never about that, it makes me happy, it makes me feel like I am giving something to myself and to others. I feel I have a purpose.
Bare is a show that I believed in, and I would have been glad to be just a glow-stick at the rave. I am very thankful that I get a voice in this show and can bring it to this town, where we still have a lot of growing to do with this topic.
When I was growing up, my mother told my grandma that I was gonna be the "artsy"type. Making her living as a piano player, my grandma replied, "Well, if it's in you, it's in you." I think that pretty much sums it up.
It boils down to the way it makes me feel. That rush of happiness and excitement when I am onstage is outstanding. The energy from a audience that 'gets it." The way my emotions can attach themselves to a story over and over again. Even listening to soundtracks in my car an getting chills. There's nothing else like it.
My boss at Starbucks always asks me how much I get paid for these shows I do, and his business mind cannot comprehend the amount of pay in relation to the time committed. But it is never about that, it makes me happy, it makes me feel like I am giving something to myself and to others. I feel I have a purpose.
Bare is a show that I believed in, and I would have been glad to be just a glow-stick at the rave. I am very thankful that I get a voice in this show and can bring it to this town, where we still have a lot of growing to do with this topic.
When I was growing up, my mother told my grandma that I was gonna be the "artsy"type. Making her living as a piano player, my grandma replied, "Well, if it's in you, it's in you." I think that pretty much sums it up.
Monday, May 2, 2011
so think about tonight
So last week, Scott asked me to help him out on some choreography for the dance scene in Romeo & Juliet (our play within the play), I spent a while trying to think of something to teach everyone and NONE of it worked out. The spacing I had thought of was too deep for the stage, some motions didn't meet up where they were supposed to.I had to make it up on the spot, luckily John Michael was my partner and we figured it out quickly. Thank goodness! I think it's a cute little dance.Speaking of John Michael, I found out that we live, literally, next door to each other! How strange?!
Anyway, tonight we ran Act I. It went pretty good for a first run through! I always like to see how I naturally act in the beginning as the character, then take things that work and sculpt it through rehearsals. I felt a little obnoxious today.... we'll see where that takes me? I have never been a, so-called, creative actor (I don't even like to call myself an actor), but I envy those that are. I like to figure out where I belong within the story and how I can advance myself.
Tonight, Scott mentioned we all need to know our relationships with every person onstage. I never knew how important that was until we did The Wild Party. I spent so much time discovering a life and finding relationships with fellow party-goers that it felt like it was my story, the audience just didn't hear my lines. That approach will be very helpful with this show, and I already have some things in mind.
Now on to Act II tomorrow!
Anyway, tonight we ran Act I. It went pretty good for a first run through! I always like to see how I naturally act in the beginning as the character, then take things that work and sculpt it through rehearsals. I felt a little obnoxious today.... we'll see where that takes me? I have never been a, so-called, creative actor (I don't even like to call myself an actor), but I envy those that are. I like to figure out where I belong within the story and how I can advance myself.
Tonight, Scott mentioned we all need to know our relationships with every person onstage. I never knew how important that was until we did The Wild Party. I spent so much time discovering a life and finding relationships with fellow party-goers that it felt like it was my story, the audience just didn't hear my lines. That approach will be very helpful with this show, and I already have some things in mind.
Now on to Act II tomorrow!
Monday, April 25, 2011
See Me
I wanted to post after our read-thru/ sing-thru last week, but found myself an old lady and tired :) After hearing our ever so talented cast sing through the entire show, I remembered how much it had touched me. This show is something special for all young kids going through any sort of religious, sexual, or personal confusion. I found tears forming during parts of Act II and this was just sitting in chairs singing! I can't wait to see what happens once blocking is learned and we get to play.
I relate much to Nadia. In high school, I gained weight, I thought myself to be ugly, and I was that kid that stayed at home every weekend and listened to musicals in my bedroom, yet I all I wanted was to fit in. I never wanted to go to parties or drink or anything of that nature, I was just a dreamer. I think being that way caused me to know myself all the more and that is why I know exactly who I am today.
Even though I was a modest, not-so-foul-mouthed, Nadia in high school, I will be someone of total opposition in this show. I play Tanya, and she is a character that is an advocate of partying and drinking and even drugs. I think she is smart enough to know when to stop but she wants everyone in on the fun. Tanya dates the school's drug dealer and, reading though the script, I found out he is the one that gives Jason the vial. This will put much guilt on Tanya. Listening to the finale in my car and seeing this situation through Tanya's eyes, I found it all the more heartbreaking.
I am anxious to start blocking tonight and see where this show takes us!
I relate much to Nadia. In high school, I gained weight, I thought myself to be ugly, and I was that kid that stayed at home every weekend and listened to musicals in my bedroom, yet I all I wanted was to fit in. I never wanted to go to parties or drink or anything of that nature, I was just a dreamer. I think being that way caused me to know myself all the more and that is why I know exactly who I am today.
Even though I was a modest, not-so-foul-mouthed, Nadia in high school, I will be someone of total opposition in this show. I play Tanya, and she is a character that is an advocate of partying and drinking and even drugs. I think she is smart enough to know when to stop but she wants everyone in on the fun. Tanya dates the school's drug dealer and, reading though the script, I found out he is the one that gives Jason the vial. This will put much guilt on Tanya. Listening to the finale in my car and seeing this situation through Tanya's eyes, I found it all the more heartbreaking.
I am anxious to start blocking tonight and see where this show takes us!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
My first BLOG
I am blogging! This is my sixth show with New Line Theatre and my very first blogging experience.I'll post more once rehearsals pick up. Everyone seems nice so far, and I feel we will have a vibrant energy. I anticipate a strong connection with this show, for I attended Catholic school for nine years but would NEVER call myself a Catholic today....and I have seen, with extended family, the struggles of being gay within the church and within the family. It's sad. We'll see how this goes!
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